Instead, they and the depressed person are likely to feel frustrated and alienated from one another. When people try to get the person to look on the bright side, be grateful, change his or her thoughts, or meditate, or they minimize or try to disprove the person’s reality, they are very unlikely to succeed. I can’t emphasize enough that when this happens, what I am describing is absolutely the depressed person’s reality. It’s difficult to describe all of this in a way that someone who’s never experienced it can make sense of it. That and being in this state causes the person to feel irredeemably unlovable, and sure everyone has abandoned or will abandon him or her. Anything that ever caused the person to feel shame, guilt, or regret grows to take up most of his or her psychic space. Anything that had given the person a sense of value or self-esteem vanishes. These assets or accomplishments no longer matter, no longer seem genuine, or are overshadowed by negative self-images. There is terrible shame about the actions depression dictates, such as not accomplishing anything or snapping at people. Everything seems meaningless, including previous accomplishments and what had given life meaning. No one seems to understand or care, and people seem insincere. Depression is utterly isolating. People seem far away-on the other side of a glass bubble. The most (normally) pleasant and comforting touch can feel painful to the point of tears. Major depression feels like intense pain that can’t be identified in any particular part of the body.
What was challenging feels overwhelming what was sad feels unbearable what felt joyful feels pleasureless-or, at best, a fleeting drop of pleasure in an ocean of pain.
Work is boring and unbearable. Any activity takes many times more effort, as if every movement requires displacing quicksand to make it. Suddenly, no one seems loving or lovable. What was challenging feels overwhelming what was sad feels unbearable what felt joyful feels pleasureless.Įven if nothing was wrong before the episode, everything seems wrong when it descends.
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